Hans Solo has a bad feeling.
He’s setting off on a wild, dangerous impetuous adventure, and things could go wrong.
People could get hurt.
Lives could be lost.
The resistance could fail.
But there is too much at stake. Hans Solo must continue forward, even with that bad feeling. That bad churning weight in the center of his being. The pressing thrum in his heart. The sensation of rocks in his stomach.
I have a bad feeling too, but I don’t know what to do about it.
I don’t even know the exact source of this feeling.
It could even be more than one bad feeling at a time.
I’m flying later today. It seems flying will always give me a bad feeling. I guess that every time I pack, do laundry, and apologize to my cat for leaving I will have this sensation.
Each time I unplug the coffee pot and toaster so the house doesn’t burn down in my absence, this feeling takes up a heavy spot in my churning digestive system. But deeper really than my gut. This negative sensation lives very deep inside.
My legs get heavier as I move around the house. My head sits lower on my shoulders.
Bad, bad feeling.
Yes, I am flying, and I suspect I will always feel bad about that.
But this is also a July 4th feeling. It is an Independence Day feeling.
It is a military tanks in our nation’s capital kind of feeling.
Military tanks. A symbol of might and power. Tanks and uniforms, fighter planes and flyovers.
Two hundred and forty three years ago this great country was founded on the ideals of freedom and equality. Trying to be true to these ideals has been challenging. We have fought with one another in an effort to secure our own vision of how to reach the desired state of existence put forth in our Declaration of Independence.
We push and we wrangle. We reach milestones and then fall back. We struggle. Sometimes we make progress to secure America’s dream.
Sometimes we don’t.
But tanks should never be our symbol for freedom.
Tanks are might, destruction and intimidation.
Freedom is discussion, argument and proffered viewpoints.
Tanks only destroy.
That’s what they do.
I’m flying today and I have a bad feeling.
Our country’s birthday party is having a military theme this year.
I bet even Hans Solo would have a bad feeling about that.